Showing posts with label Celebrities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Celebrities. Show all posts

Saturday, 16 September 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • Some people found out who they will be dancing with on Strictly;
  • some people found out they only had two weeks work;
  • Tomasz went to Tampa;
  • Tomasz got a new red over jacket;
  • Gigi lost a heel;
  • the Queen was given the first new £10 note;
  • the Queen put the first new £10 note in her handbag; 
  • the Queen said 'that will do nicely for the bookies this afternoon';
  • Madonna brought a new DVD out;
  • Theresa is planning a speech;
  • Boris decided to get in first;
  • Boris said 'now where did I put that bus'; and
  • 'Rooney party girl' is now a person. 

Saturday, 9 September 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • George and Amal went to Venice;
  • the Queen said she was off to open a bridge;
  • Philip said he thought it looked nice and that they probably put on a good buffet so thought he might come with her;
  • the Queen said she thought he was doing that back fence before the winter set in;
  • Kate thought she would have another baby;
  • George had his first day at school; 
  • George thought ‘stuff this for a game of soldiers’; 
  • Wayne said Colleen shouldn’t have ten holidays a year; 
  • some people baked some biscuits;
  • Theresa said she wasn't a robot;
  • Theresa said she would exterminate anyone who said she was a robot;
  • Conor went on holiday to Ibiza;
  • Camilla named a ship HMS Prince of Wales;
  • Camilla said 'eeh that's what my husband is called';
  • Camilla said 'not my first husband I meant the one I have now'; and
  • Boris went to Estonia.

Saturday, 2 September 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • Harvey went to Texas;
  • Donald said he would go to Texas;
  • Texas said 'haven't we suffered enough'; 
  • Theresa went to Japan;
  • Theresa thought she might get a new video recorder while she was in Japan;
  • George went to school;
  • some new people baked some cakes - it took ages because of all the adverts;
  • Some people did some boxing;
  • Theresa said she would quite like to be Prime Minister at the next election – that should be nice; 
  • Some footballers stopped being transferred; 
  • Mike said ‘I’m not buying any of those, they are dead expensive’; 
  • Wayne said ‘What’s that blue flashing light?’; 
  • Wayne said ‘eeh officer I’ve had a dead good night’: 
  • Wayne said ‘What you want me to blow in that bag for … are your chips hot … ha ha that always makes me laugh’; and 
  • Madonna moved to Lisbon. 

Saturday, 26 August 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • the Queen said 'If you have nothing to do you can put up that shelf in the spare room;
  • the Queen said 'Did you put that shelf up?'
  • Philip said 'i didn't have time to get round to it, I've been busy with things';
  • The Queen said 'You were sitting in that chair when I went out first thing this morning;
  • Bradley is going to be a companion;
  • some people are going to start baking; and
  • some people are going to start boxing;
  • Mel has silver hair; 
  • Mark earned $68 million last year – what a  lot of money; 
  • Andrew isn’t going to do Sunday Politics anymore; and
  • Wayne isn't going to play for England again;
  • Harvey went to Texas;
  • Sarah had some booze after winning CBB - sorry that should say Boos; and
  • Jenna is going to be Victoria again; 

Saturday, 19 August 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • Tom jumped off a building; 
  • Tom almost landed on another building; 
  • Tom said 'Ouch'; 
  • David built a castle; 
  • David said 'I've got three pieces left over'; 
  • Daniel said he thought he might quite like to be James again; 
  • Cheryl gets up an hour before her baby to do some online workouts; 
  • Cheryl does kick boxing or yoga in the afternoon when her baby is asleep; 
  • Cheryl obviously doesn’t do double shifts at Greggs; 
  • Tom broke his ankle; 
  • Tom is over 50 and shouldn’t be jumping off buildings; 
  • Leo and Kate went to St Tropez;
  • David and Victoria were in Malibu; 
  • Donald fired someone;
  • Donald said 'who can I fire next, I like doing this'; and
  • some more people are doing Strictly.

Saturday, 12 August 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • some singer is going to do Strictly - must be that time of year again; and
  • Davood said he would do Strictly as well;
  • Philip has started his retirement;
  • the Queen said 'I hope your not going to sit around the house all day;
  • Liam got a new tattoo;
  • Philip said 'What you got on today then?'
  • Philip said 'That looks nice, i bet they do a nice lunch';
  • the Queen said 'if you have nothing to do that shelf in the front room wants looking at';
  • Cody ran about a bit; 
  • Anneka might be having another Challenge; 
  • Brad and Angelina might not be getting divorced; 
  • Jim did some paintings; 
  • Madame Tussauds said they wanted to make a stuffed dummy of Theresa - they are a bit late with that; 
  • some famous people had a fringe in Edinburgh; and
  • Donald got so angry his face went orange.

Saturday, 5 August 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • Scaramucci got fandangoed;
  • some new bloke is going to edit Vogue;
  • Philip got a new bowler hat;
  • Philip got wet in the rain;
  • Philip said 'that hat's ruined';
  • Philip finally retired;
  • Philip said 'what's a Post Office?;
  • Philip said he didn't know how they were going to manage now with only one wage coming in;
  • some people went into the Celebrity Big Brother house - is that still on?;
  • Donald said it had been a good day at the White House;
  • Charles and Camilla went to Corfu;
  • Camilla said 'wasn't your dad born here?';
  • Philip and Holly - not that Philip - are going to present Strictly on Ice next year;
  • Danny is staying in EastEnders;
  • Mo won again; and 
  • Johnson-Thomson-Jackson-Stevenson-Carlson is going to do some running.

Saturday, 29 July 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • Katie got a new face;
  • Justin isn't going to China;
  • Philip retired;
  • the Queen said 'oh god does that mean I am going to have him round the house all day?';
  • The Pope turned his fountains off; 
  • the Pope said his bath water was running much faster now them fountains were off; 
  • Adam won two world records; 
  • Daniel is going to be James again; 
  • Theresa went to Lake Garda on holiday – we know what happened the last time she went on holiday; 
  • Theresa wore a £25 dress from Next; 
  • Theresa said she got her new dress and a pair of espadrilles for £30; 
  • William isn’t going to fly his helicopter anymore; 
  • William is just going to do royaling from now on; 
  • Kate said ‘Is he going to be round the house all day’; 
  • the Queen said ‘tell me about it’.

Saturday, 22 July 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • Camilla was 70;
  • William and Kate went to Poland;
  • Paul was trapped at a waterfall; 
  • loads of people got loads of money at the BBC; 
  • William and Kate went to Germany; 
  • Emmanuel said he was the boss; 
  • Dominic said David was ‘thick as mince’ – that’s quite thick; 
  • Vince thought he would like to be the leader of a political party; and
  • Jodie thought she would like to be a Dr;
  • Sean packed his job in - before he was sacked;
  • Gemma wore an orange tent;
  • Boris went to Tokyo;
  • David went to Brussels - they get all over don't they;
  • Camilla ate a scone the Devon way;
  • Charles said 'Do you have to have it like that can you not have it the Cornish way?;
  • Katie is going to do Dancing on Ice - not that one.. the orange one.

Saturday, 15 July 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • Ernst got married; 
  • Wayne went to Everton;
  • Daniel is going to be James again;
  • Boris said he could hear whistling;
  • Michel said he could hear a clock - they must have ears like bats;
  • Letizia and Filipe came to the UK for a bit of a holiday; 
  • Filipe is 6' 4"
  • the Queen said 'eeh mind your tall';
  • Zsa Zas's will is missing;
  • Zsa Zsa's husband said 'I know I had it when I went to the shops';
  • Donald jr said after thinking about it he would have done it differently - there is a lot said that; while
  • Donald went to Paris;
  • Donald said 'eeh there's loads of French people here ... they are everywhere; and
  • some people are still playing tennis - but Andy is back to being Scottish again and Johanna is Australian again.

Saturday, 8 July 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • the Queen wore a lemon dress - she's got loads of dresses;
  • some people cycled around in France;
  • Theresa went to Hamburg; 
  • Theresa said ‘eeh I never get a minute to myself’; 
  • Donald went to Poundland – sorry that should say Poland; 
  • Wayne bought a new house; 
  • Harry went to Leeds; 
  • a horse ate the Queen's flowers;
  • The Queen took her coat off; 
  • the Queen said ‘eeh it’s dead hot out today’; 
  • Mike said he was a power drinker – I think that means drunk; 
  • some people were still playing tennis – have they not finished yet?; 
  • Angela went to the G20 with a load of other people; and
  • Theresa went to a concert to watch an 1880s tribute band.

Saturday, 1 July 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • the Queen got a new ship;
  • the Queen said 'eeh where am I going to put that?'
  • some people sang in a field;
  • Harry was 20;
  • Christiano got two babies;
  • George got his sixth job – eeh he must be dead busy; 
  • Theresa said she would quite like to have a vote on the Queen’s speech; 
  • Dolph is going to make a new movie; 
  • Adele said she was packing in touring; 
  • some people played tennis; 
  • Brooklyn wrote a book – it’s not his autobiography is it?;
  • some people started the Tour de France in Germany - what a funny place to have it;
  • Sean got married - and
  • Lionel got married as well;
  • some lions bead New Zealand; and 
  • Adele is not well.

Saturday, 24 June 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • George's boat collided with another boat;
  • Julie got a ladydamesirknighthoodship;
  • Angela went to see the Pope;
  • Angela told the Pope she had had that Donald round;
  • the Pope said he knew how she felt as Donald had been round his as well;
  • Liam went to Milan;
  • Hew wasn't sure the 10 o'clock news had started;
  • the Queen opened Parliament;
  • Dennis said they should get their skates on;
  • the Queen had a 'Take your child to work day';
  • The Queen wore a hat;
  • the Queen went to the races;
  • Theresa went to Brussels; 
  • Theresa said being Prime Minister wasn't all it was cracked up to be; and
  • some people were singing tunes in a field in Somerset. 

Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Celebrity Week - State Opening Royal Special

A Celebrity State Opening Royal special
  • the Queen had a 'Dress down' day;
  • the Queen said 'ooh it feels like a Friday';
  • the Queen sent her best crown to the Houses of Parliament;
  • the Queen said 'eeh mind don't let that crown out of your sight it's me best one';
  • the Queen's State Trumpeters started a trumpet song when the Queen walked through the door;
  • the Queen dropped her handbag';
  • the Queen said I wish they would wait till I sat down before doing that'
  • the Queen said 'I think I've left me glasses in my other handbag;
  • Prince Charles says 'you haven't man, we checked before we left, have another look'
  • 'the Queen read a speech';
  • the Queen said 'What's that word?'
  • Charles said 'Brexit';
  • the Queen said 'that's not a word';
  • the Queen said 'That's never a 'B' it looks like a 'P' I thought she was wanting a Prexit lol;
  • the Queen said 'she's not said anything about that Donald coming'; 
  • the Queen said 'Is that it? It was hardly worth coming for';
  • the Queen told Charles to see if that nice Jeremy had a Racing Post she could borrow.

Saturday, 17 June 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • the Queen got a 41 gun salute in her back garden for her birthday;
  • the Queen forgot she was getting a 41 gun salute in her back garden for her birthday;
  • the Queen dropped a teacup;
  • the Queen said 'what the bloody hell was that?' 
  • the Queen said 'what damn fool is making all that noise outside';
  • Harry had a party; 
  • Donald had a cabinet meeting where everyone told him how lovely he was;
  • Donald said he din't fancy coming to Britain because people shout a lot;
  • Theresa has had better weeks;
  • George had a great week;
  • Theresa went to Paris for the evening; 
  • Theresa went to see England play football in Paris; 
  • Theresa did a Mexican wave on her own; 
  • Theresa said ‘have you not got any wheat fields?’;
  • Theresa went to see Emmanuel;
  • Emmanuel said will you stop saying 'Hey, Macarena!' every time you want to ask me something;
  • Tim packed his job in; and 
  • some people got things off of the Queen because it was her birthday.

Saturday, 10 June 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • Victoria wore a green and orange outfit;
  • George and Amal had two babies;
  • Diane has had better weeks;
  • Elton is going to sings some tunes in Las Vegas; 
  • William went to Belgium; 
  • Tom said he might play volleyball in his next movie; 
  • Theresa said she was very clear about who she was going to vote for;
  • Tom might be doing Strictly - is it that time of year again already;
  • Theresa said she would like 100 new MPs;
  • Theresa said 'oh ... I'll just have a couple of new MPs then';
  • Theresa said 'what do you mean I have to give some MPs back?';
  • Thersa said she would pop in to see the Queen;
  • the Queen said she thought she would work from home on Friday;
  • the Queen thought her dressing gown would be ok for another day;
  • the Quun got a message to say Theresa was popping round;
  • the Queen said 'oh God, what does she want?;
  • the Queen told Philip to straighten the cushions and record Bargain Hunt for her; 
  • Alex got chucked from Scotland; and 
  • Paul packed his job in.

Saturday, 3 June 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • Tiger wished he had taken a taxi;
  • Angela ate a loaf and a bagel;
  • Theresa didn't fancy going to Cambridge;
  • Theresa said she had to get back home because Corrie was having a week special;
  • The FBI said it was interested in Nigel - I suppose someone has to be; 
  • Janet might be doing a Netflix series – whatever one of those is; 
  • Taylor got a new boyfriend - it's been weeks since the last one; 
  • Ronnie was 70 - he must be older than that!;
  • the Queen had a garden party;
  • the Queen said 'that back hedge needs doing';
  • Amanda almost wore a dress; 
  • some people were supposed to have talent; 
  • Donald couldn't be bothered to save the planet;
  • Donald said he had coal to dig; and
  • Theresa said she was very clear. 

Saturday, 27 May 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • Theresa got a new raincoat;
  • John thought he would pack his job in; and
  • Harry got an old boot ... sorry that should say gold boot (what a funny thing to get);
  • the Queen went to see some flowers;
  • the Queen said 'have a look and see if they have any daffs on offer - we need some for out the back at Balmoral';
  • Theresa got a new cap;
  • Melania didn't want to hold Donald's hand;
  • Donald went to see the Pope; 
  • Donald wanted to have his photograph taken;
  • Donald said 'i'm not trying to hold your hand, get out of my way';
  • Donald said 'Where is Montenegro?';
  • Colin lost his tattoos - I wonder where they are; 
  • Theresa went to Sicily; 
  • Leonardo went to a party; and
  • Robert might be getting an Oscar.

Saturday, 20 May 2017

Celebrity Week

This week's celebrity news:
  • France got a new Prime Minister;
  • someone said Nigel should get a Knighthood;
  • Theresa laughed like a blocked drain when it was suggested Nigel shuold be knighted - that's not very ladylike;
  • Donald talked to some Russians;
  • Salvador won Eurovision;
  • Emmanuel went to Germany;
  • Charles and Camilla went to an indoor market;
  • Camilla said 'did you say we were running short of carrots this morning'?
  • some politicians issued political documents they are going to ignore in a year’s time;
  • The Queen went to The Ivy; 
  • the Queen said ‘I’ve got ivy all over my back wall at Balmoral; 
  • Donald said he quite liked presidenting so he thought he would go to Saudi Arabia;
  • Donald said he would visit the Pope while he was in the area;
  • the Pope said 'tell him I'm out ... tel him anything, tell him I'm at the launderette, I've got loads of whites to do.' 
  • Liam said he wasn’t fussed about Harry’s new tune; and
  • Cheryl thought she might become a Tweedy again.

Monday, 15 May 2017

The Pope

The Pope was in Portugal on Saturday ... on Saturday Portugal won the Eurovision song contest ... that's all I'm saying.