Agatha was at the Patisserie ...
'Morning dear' I said
'Oh it's you, I'm surprised to see you, what with your fancy Bake off programme on';
'It's not started yet, anyway it's not fancy';
'It's a menace, that's what it is, a menace. It ruins my trade';
'How can it be a menace, it's just a baking programme';
'It's a menace, it put fancy ideas in peoples heads. People like you coming in wanting opera cakes and sachertortes, it ruins my forward orders And I remember the catcalls in the street I got the the last time it was on "Ooh there's her with the soggy bottom" and "I bet she has got big bloomers", I was an emotional wreck. I could sue that Mary Berry.'
'I am sorry you were an emotional wreck, I didn't mean to bring it all back.'
'It's all right, what can I get you?'
'Can I have two op ... remalbas.'
'What's an opramelba.'
'Sorry just melbas.'
I think I just got away with it there.