Sunday, 28 February 2010

Dancing on Ice - the Skate off

Skate off between Emily and Daniella this week. Surprised to see Daniella in the skate off, but I think Emily knew what was coming next - bless her.

Unfortunately as expected Fred was voted off - sorry Emily was voted off.

On at the later time of 19:10 next week - slowly but surely we are getting to the end and with only six left, can start a bit later!

Oh no!


Dancing on Ice

Eight weeks in and seven celebrities left, show starts with a tune from Katherine Jenkins, I though I was watching Pop star to Operastar for a moment. But then noticed Lloyd Webber on the piano - must be phantom! Think the tune she sang must be from Webber’s new show, sequel to Phantom of the Opera. Thanks for the preview of this rotten dirge - good to get a warning about

Battle of the dresses this week with three contestants - will include Katherine since she is there. Clear win for Holly this week, lovely in white and great for the bosoms! Hold the front page - Jayne got changed in the ad break, bit of a racy number form Jayne, will have to revised earlier decision - winner this week Jayne.

Robin is back from commentating on the Olympics (where we won a dismal single medal - gold yes but only one medal), moving Karen Barber back to the end seat and no more guest judges.

Mikey Graham Told last week to up his game. Well costume department upped its game - moving Mikey out of jackets and shirts into a tight lycra top - think it might have been a week or two too early for that move - needs a few more sessions in the gym to carry that one off. Bit of a stumble in the middle but a bit faster overall. Bit of a disaster, getting his lowest score of the series. Could be a contender for the skate off. Shameless showing of his fall in rehearsals to try and influence the public vote.

Daniella Westbrook Tricky little routine this week - lots of steps and played havoc with her knees. Another county and western routine (after Mikey’s San Quentin number last week) is so not my thing. I agree with Jason - her arabesque was so not there. Looked for the unassisted jump - but I must have missed it. Thought it lacked performance content after last week - but everyone else seemed to like it! Score 22 no idea how she got that - bit disappointed this week.

Kieron Richardson Bit of a disaster in training, falling on his face and needing a stitch in his lip - hope it doesn’t spoil his looks for the future. Couple of half axels and a go at the aeroplane spin - although she had to feel the ice to stop her ending up with a fat lip as well! Should have had a higher score.

Emily Atack. Well we got a little jump - but it was a little jump. Still the prettiest couple though. Her highest score - keep them in.

Danny Young Trying to break his run of five weeks of 17 score. Think he has lost a bit of weight? Think he was marginally better this week - and at last a score of 22. He was so happy he was speechless - he said a lot for someone that was speechless.

Hayley Tammenden Every week it seems to get worse, each week Dan has a little less hair. Energetic performance and reflected in the score - but she just doesn’t do it for me - why does the commentator keep going on about her and Dan’s ‘relationship’ and hinting at a trip down the aisle - is he kidding?

Gary Lucy Best routine of the night for me - bit of a wobble in the middle but a great performance. Not as good a score as last week - but I thought it was better.

Top three - Danny, Daniella and Gary

Peter Andre

I see Peter Andre has just ended a three month fling with a 'glamour model'.

He hooked up with 30 year old Mandy Ford when he was looking for someone the opposite of his ex-wife (Katie Price in case you have been living on a different planet for the last five years). Err yes, having seen a picture of of Mandy - I can see how she is quite different from Jordan.

Andre is quick to explain that it is alright because it wasn't love. - That makes it so much better then.

Question - why are these 'clebrity glamour models' never glamorous and you have never heard of them?

Wayne Bridge

Lots of chatter this week about whether or not Wayne Bridge would shake John Terry's hand when Man City met Chelsea on Saturday.

This made the highlight of the Saturday Evening News (to be fair Saturday tea time news is always slow) was video footage of two people not shaking hands. What will the next news item be, two people not speaking to each other, or two people walking down the street and not bumping into one another?

I think Wayne needs to step back from all this, he had a lot of sympathy from a lot of people but it is wearing thin.

Firstly ruling himself out of the World Cup (in my day it was polite to wait until you were asked) might come back to haunt him. Understand things might be a bit difficult now but in a few months he might change his mind and wish he was on his way to South Africa.

Secondly the lady in question was his ex-girlfriend, and while I can see there being a bit of an issue between John Terry and his wife, it really isn't an issue for Wayne any longer. I know there is a rule about not going off with your mates 'exes' but it does happen, most people find a way to get over it.

Tricky one though - what would have done if I had been in Wayne's shoes (boots) on Saturday (apart from wondering what the hell I was doing on a football pitch) I probably wouldn't have shaken hands either - not with all the cameras watching, bit too soon for public forgive and forget, but lets have an end to it all now and move.

Apart from anything else I have a lot of celebrities to cover and just can't stretch to the world of football. Although I am thinking of covering the World Cup - should I or should I not? Let me know your views.

Conferences

Two party conferences this weekend. First the Tories in Brighton to launch their slogan for the forthcoming election 'Vote for Change'. wonder how long it took them to come up with that one!

Also a new Logo was seen plastered over anything that didn't move - and some things that did move. Always a bit of a worry when political parties resort to using the Union Flag as part of their message - is sort of saying if you vote for anyone else it would be un-British. Just for the record and Torie party campaign manager might be interested - the logo looks like the one they use on 'Britain's got Talent.

Further North it was the Labour party conference in Wales. Is there a more boring sentence in the English language than the one I have just written? If you want to know what happened - you will have to find out yourself from the outcome notes - life is too short for this blogger to investigate.

Friday, 26 February 2010

Cheryl Cole

I have just been chatting to a couple of colleagues about Cheryl and Ashley. One of my colleagues didn’t know that there had been a formal split. Where on earth can my colleague have been!

But it did make me wonder if anyone else had missed any important events in the Celebrity story of the month. In case you need to catch up – here are the important events so far:

· Ashley gets caught doing things with a text that he shouldn’t - again’
· Cheryl thinks she might leave Ashley
· Cheryl leaves the country and goes to America
· Cheryl arrives in America to be a celebrity
· Cheryl wears dark glasses to avoid being a celebrity in America
· Ashley texts Cheryl to say doesn’t want to split from his fortune, then corrects his text to say he doesn’t want to split from his wife
· Cheryl thinks some more about spitting from her fortune
· Cheryl texts Ashley to tell him ‘it is over – move out’
· Ashley moves out of the mansion
· Cheryl leaves America
· Ashley blames Cheryl’s mam
· Cheryl arrives in the UK
· Ashley leaves the UK (separating celebrities have to live in different countries)
· Cheryl moves home
· Cheryl thinks about having her ‘Mrs C’ tattoo removed from her neck
· Cheryl decides to drop the name Cole and go back to being Tweedy.

I think this should have you up to date – tune in next week for more!

The Last Ped

One of the issues raised by the move to the ground floor in the Leeds office was the lack of provision of Peds for staff.

If you haven’t worked in the Department before you might not know what a Ped is. A Ped is a rectangular cube shaped wooden box (if you can have a rectangular cube?), it contains drawers, has a lock and sits under your desk.

A Ped is a secure place you store papers you don’t need for two years. After two years of not looking at them you throw them out. Three days later you realise you need the papers you have just thrown out, but spend several hours looking for in the hope of finding.

To those not used to having Peds, having one might seem to be a waste of time, but in the Departmental office world, having a Ped comes second only to having a desk chair and a PC. The Ped completes your workstation and confers status and prestige.

You can now appreciate the issue of moving over 100 people into an office with only three Peds.

I fortunately, dear reader, was the owner of one of the three Peds so this was less of an issue for me, but you cannot help but be caught up in furore caused by the lack of Peds.

Then couple of weeks ago we had a delivery of about 40 Peds, they stood unguarded and unclaimed in the main office entrance for a few days before suddenly one day, one of them disappeared, and then another one. Then before you knew it they had all disappeared.

Well I say all – there is now one single solitary Ped left. It stands alone in the centre of the undeveloped part of the floor like some Grecian obelisk awaiting only its pyramid top and a people to offer it worship in its symbolism as the sun god Ra.

Why has no one taken this last Ped – there are still plenty of people without Peds. Are we pretending the other ones haven’t been taken and if we leave one no one will notice the other ones have disappeared? So many questions!

Workmen

Been quite a week for workmen in the Leeds office, they have been in fixing:

· lights, on the stairs, nice safety hazard with step ladders all over the place;
· the lift – the lifts have never worked since we got here;
· restoring power to a couple of banks of desks – hardly surprising as each desk has two people sitting at it with two PCs and a laptop each;
· heating – after having no heating through the coldest winter since mammoths roamed across Yorkshire, we finally had our sludge removed (see earlier posts) and we were granted heat. Apparently this heating was for a few days only so we have gone back to working in an office with no heating, but a man did touch the radiators yesterday, so maybe soon we will have heating once more.

New Pudsey

In my next life I want to live in New Pudsey. I have no idea where it is or what it is like, but every time I arrive in Leeds station the tannoy is announcing ‘the train standing on platform xx is the xxxx going to xxx stopping at … New Pudsey,

It doesn’t matter what time of the day or night it is there is always a train ready to leave for New Pudsey. This must give this little Yorkshire town the best train service in the country.

Thursday, 25 February 2010

Competition

GMTV were running a competition this morning. You could win £25,000 and a holiday to Singapore . You only have to answer this question,

‘Complete this expression - Money grows on … A) Houses, B) Roads or C) Trees.

Fantastic - I know the answer to this one – so I think I am almost there! But hang on, if you listen to the detail, the holiday is for ‘four nights in Singapore’ and includes ‘most of your meals’. I am not traipsing all the way to Singapore for four nights and have to buy half my food once I am there.

GMTV can keep its rotten prize.

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Coffee

When did it become an everyday occurrence to wander around the streets carrying a cup of coffee? I must have missed the announcement that such behaviour was acceptable, even something to be admired.

In the olden days when I was a lad, if you wanted a cup of coffee, you went into a restaurant (or café if you absolutely had to) and sat at a table, a waiter or waitress would come up to you, take your order and then a few minutes later they would bring you a coup of coffee. It was quite straight forward and there was little scope for things going wrong or for annoying others not involved in this procurement and consumption process.

Getting a cup off coffee now is even easier than it used to be with specialised coffee houses on every street corner, and a range of different branded establishments to suit your mood to choose from. So why then do people walk around the streets carrying a cardboard cup of coffee in their hands?

When I was a lad, if I had ordered a cup of coffee and said, ‘oh could you pour it into a cardboard box for me I want to drink it in the street’ they would have thought I had gone completely mad.

Now on any street in any city you will come across hoards of people rushing around grasping a cup of coffee as they push their way through the early morning or lunchtime crowds. It is even more bizarre when it is raining, as they try to protect the cardboard cup from getting wet – in case they hadn’t realised – the cup is made from paper and is already full of liquid!

Why do people do it? Why not sit down and have the coffee in the coffee shop? Why not make the coffee when you get to where you are going? So many questions – I don’t understand.

London Fashion Week

For those that missed the excitement of London Fashion Week, check out these videos from the Guardian coverage. You might have to view on n0n-work PCs

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/video/2010/feb/19/london-fashion-week

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Leona Lewis

Saw Leona Lewis on Lorraine, she was very excited about being number one in the charts with the Haiti single. She was also very excited about her new single which comes out this week. And it was amazing and exciting to sing on the Avatar movie. She didn’t look very excited.

Spring Flu

I hear that the Leeds office is swamped with disease and pestilence? With coughs and sneezes all over the place – could we please have this sorted before I get there on Wednesday.

Nothing

Nothing has happened - Is someone going to do something blogworthy?

Sunday, 21 February 2010

Leaks and Squeaks

Back at the chicken factory in Leeds the water tap in the kitchen on the first floor (not on the ground floor where I am - we haven’t got a kitchen) has sprung a leak. The kitchen was only fitted out last March and the tap has already been out of action once. Last summer when it took two weeks to replace a washer, now we have constant running water. How long before that is fixed.

And the printer nearest me has developed an irritating squeak as it prints. If someone doesn’t fix it soon I will bring some WD40 in and do it myself!

Beyoncé

If you like somehting a bit more today than Anything Goes - have a bit of

Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyHVQT8aIBM

Anything Goes

Not a great fan of show tunes but I do like Anything Goes from Thoroughly Modern Millie

Elaine Paige singing and dancing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFP4wZdUY-0

Ethel Merman http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zJ3vqkXqRU

Captain Jack http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ID0KOoS2qI0&feature=related


Only joking - Cole Porter of course.

Dancing on Ice - 20 February 2010

Half way through the series with only eight left, seems longer somehow, Not sure about Holly’s dress this week - looks like she is in her underwear and forgot to put her dress on. Still suppose she knows what she is doing. Battle of the dresses - honours to Jayne again this week.

Angela Ripon stand in judge this week, can’t bear her and her patronising approach to everything. It makes me want to kill myself every time anyone mentions her appearance dancing on Morcambe and Wise. Don’t know where Ripon got her dress from, looks like an old one of Katie Boyles. Not sure why she displaces Jason from his seat, maybe it was to put him next to head judge Karen Barber so she could whack him when necessary.

Kieron Richardson Oh dear what can oi say - so embarrassing. Can’t believe they had never heard of Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t've). Catchy little title for a song. Not sure ‘punking on ice’ is such a good idea.

Sharon Davies At last they have given Sharon a skirt, of sorts, to wear, hardly seems worth it now if she is going to be leaving this week. She changed the music against Chris and Jayne’s direction - oops. Big mistake.

Daniella Westbrook Funny night for music tonight - I wouldn’t have thought you could ice skate to Dusty - and you can’t. What the hell was that all about. But she did do the float spin to finish so that was something at least. Come on Daniella do better next week. High scores from the judges, I must have been watching something else.

If you want to see the real Dusty singing performance -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR4vE9xL3yk


Danny Young Bit better this week, but I think he has peaked - and five weeks with 17 points. Doubt he will survive the skate off this week - might have a chance if he is up against Sharon. Nicky got quite cross - he got the jeers from the crowd this week instead of Jason - bet Jason was furious!

Hayley Tammenden After last weeks great performance - a lot to follow. Get Happy Ella Fitzgerald version - prefer Judy singing it. Bit of a stumble this week , but still got a 26 score.

Judy's iconic song and dance version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2U-rBZREQMw


Emily Atack. Looks great and a good performance from Fred. Think she had a few problems with the lifts - but she still got her highest score.

Gary Lucy Completion for Emily and Fred as the prettiest couple. Couple of wobbles but a good perfiormance and his highest score of the series.

Mikey Graham Cant stand all that Johnny Cash cowboy stuff - awful!


Top three, Hayley, Daniella and Gary

Friday, 19 February 2010

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

Pussycat Kittens

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRLcKeDjX1Q&feature=related

Doris Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKPjxVHgFPs

Popstar to Operastar

Still fresh from the excitement of a great live episode of Eastenders, settled down to watch the final of Pop Star to Operastar.

I have a feeling it will be Bernie to win, but here's hoping Darius gets it. Don't suppose it matters who wins, neither of them will sing opera again after tonight.

They usually finish with the one they think is going to win so it was a bad sign for Darius going first. But Darius played clever and chose Mozart for his first Aria.

Bernie gave us her choice wearing an old Betty Legs Diamond frock - I think it was the one Marcella had on last week. Unfortunately for Bernie the best part of her performance was the boy dancers - well the blond one anyway.

Round 1 to Darius.

Next round was duets first up again Darius. Bad song choice with a song from the Man from La Mancha To Dream the Impossible Dream. Not my favourite and was wishing it over. A gift for Bernie.

First mistake from Berine was to try and sing Somewhere from West Side Story - everyone thinks they can sing it. Second mistake was to stand next to Katherine Jenkins while she tried to sing it.

When you have heard Queen Barbra sing it - there is no need to hear anyone else sing it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRmUflZ3bBI

Round 2 (only just) to Darius

Bit of Verdi to finish off with all four (Darius, Bernie, Katherine and Orlando) on stage and singing.

Darius and Katherine made a better couple than Bernie and Orlando and overall I think they gave the best performance.

Round 3 to Darius

I have to say I was a bit disappointed in Bernie's song choices, I thought she might have won a round or two - I have seen better from her over the weeks.

Awaiting the final vote - on tonight's performances it should be Darius - but you never know.

UPDATE

Result announced as 'the Winner of Popstar to Operastar 2010 is' that means they are planning another series next year. Bit of a worry, thought they were scrapping the barrel with the contestants for this series, wonder what Katie is doing this time next year ........

But I digress - the winner is ............... Darius! Well done Darius

Stacey

Stacey was looking absolutely fantastic for her wedding to Bradley, who knew it was Stacey that killed Archie Mitchell. Great live episode, here is to 25 more years of EastEnders.

Sorry is the Hardest Word

I see Tiger is going to be telling the world of his regrets later today. He will make a statement to say he is sorry, he won’t do it again and please can he have is sponsors back – I mean his wife back.

I have said this before; if you do something you shouldn’t do once you then you might be sorry, if you have done it a dozen times then you are not sorry you did it you are sorry you have been caught.

Still it’s not my concern.

We did get a useful insight on what will happen later today ‘from an expert in the know’. Apparently Tiger will walk in the room, sit down, read his statement then get up and walk out. You have to wonder how these experts build up such amazing knowledge.

Apparently Tiger has been giving golf a miss over the last few months and says he can’t remember when he last picked up a golf club. Funnily enough he can remember exactly when his wife last picked up a golf club!

Thursday, 18 February 2010

What Katie Did Next

It is Christmas in the Price household and the decorations are going up. Tis the season of goodwill to all men - or as Katie knows it 'Tis the season to sign books'.

First up a book signing in Milton Keynes - 200 identical adoring fans queue up to see their idol. 'How long you been waiting' La Price asked one fan. Five hours was the reply' 'Oh not so long then' was our hero's caring response.

Funnily enough the queue of people waiting to see Katie were identical in their drabness - the irony didn't seem to strike them as they gazed at their heavily gilded goddess.

Christmas present for Katie was a painting of her on a horse. Don't know who did the painting but the horse looked prettier than Katie. Needless to say it didn't go up on the wall.

There seemed to be a houseful of people and everyone had their coats on - maybe Katie doesn't put the heating on.

Then it is off to Hamleys to buy presents for the kids. Turned into a bit of a trolley dash with Katie parading through the store being followed by herds of staff as she points at things and says 'I'll have one of those, one of those and one of those'. Full canter through the store buying dozens of toys - lots of thought and care invested in choosing every one of them.

Katie's wishes for 2010 - to get married or if not, hopefully to have another baby.

Maybe I didn't hear that right and it was the other way around - or maybe I did hear it right!

EastEnders 25

Who killed Archie Mitchell. I haven't got a clue.

Great episode tonight - I have seen hundreds of soap weddings - I need to check the archives - but I can't remember having two weddings in the same episode in the same soap. Let me know if it has happened before. Bride honours to Stacey - she looked fantastic.

So who killed Archie - find out in tomorrow's live episode.

London Fashion Week

As we head into London Fashion Week, this helpful guide in the Guardian may prove to be the best advice you get this month.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/feb/17/how-dress-london-fashion-week

Dandelions and Orchids

A colleague was walking round the chicken huts this morning suggesting we open some of the blinds. Apparently it was a bit brighter this morning and it would be nice to let some light into the room. Well it didn’t look any brighter to me, gazing over the car park to the brewery looked just as bleak as it always does. Although I did have to admit that the toxic fumes coming out f the brewery roof did look a little whiter this morning.

My colleague headed over to my blinds but I had to stop her in her tracks.

‘Not my blinds thanks, those blinds are the only thing keeping the freezing draught out’

I think she thought I was joking, so I had to explain that in life some of us are dandelions and some of us are orchids. I have no view on who is which and one isn’t better than the other; it is just the way it is, so get your hands off my blinds!

Election

We are heading, very slowly it seems, to a general election - on 6 May 2010 if you are interested and you read it here first!

Question is, should I cover the election here. My first thought is I won't as this isn't a political arena and I have no wish to get into tedious arguments and potentially alienate any of my bloggers. Thinking about it again, the run up to this election has been so long in coming that I am fed up with it already and we haven't even started the 'official election. So maybe an alternate view of the political stories of the day might be a welcome distraction.

Now the disclaimer.

None of the views expressed here over coming months are intended to show any support for one party over any other. All parties and politicians will be fair game for this bloggers comment. If they do or say something blog worthy - it will be captured.

To get the ball rolling ….

A document published by the Conservatives in its relentless campaign to promote broken Britain stated 54% of girls in deprived areas become pregnant before the age of 18. The figure was repeated three times in the leaflet. The only problem was they made a mistake with the figure - the decimal point was in the wrong place and the number should have been 5.4%.

The only reaction from Conservative campaign headquarters was that the mistake was immaterial and made ‘no difference at all to he conclusions … of the report’.

Wonder it the spokesperson was previously on the board of RBS? It might explain why we had to give them 28 thousand million pounds to get them out of a hole last year!

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Celebrity Life

A colleague very kindly gave me a copy of a celebrity magazine as a present. I was delighted as there was so much important news in the magazine. I feel I need to share some of the life changing highlights:

  • Rihanna wore a nice dress at the Grammys - who is Rihanna, was she the one that represented us in the Eurovision Song contest, or was it the other one;
  • Nadee wore a horrible dress at the Grammys - no I have no idea who she is either;
  • Celine Dion and Beyonce wore the same dress at the Grammys (Ive seen the pics and funnily enough they don't look like the same dress - wonder why that is?
  • Pete is upset because Katie has married Alex and didn't tell him (didn't tell Pete that is not didn't tell Alex);
  • Alex has his own weekly column in the Celebrity magazine where he will tell us what he has been doing. The lead article starts 'So, me and Katie have done it - we're married'. As I write Alex is in India fighting, Katie couldn't go because she couldn't get a visa. Oh and Katie has spent a lot of time shopping and Alex has been to the gym. Unfortunately those are the highlights and the rest goes downhill. I'm a bit deflated I had thought Celebrity Life would have been a bit more glamorous. Maybe next weeks diary will be better;
  • John Terry's devastated wife has agreed to take John back - she was devastated all over Dubai;
  • Lily Allen has said that after her holiday in India all 'the clarified butter has made its way from my tummy to my thighs' . She collapsed after a recent gig in Australia, I have seen the pictures of her thighs and I nearly fainted as well;
  • JLS are preparing to go on tour with their two songs;
  • Victoria Beckham is planning to launch her TV career in the US, La Posh will be showcasing her well known talents as a TV presenter in the US show. she is planning to put on a couple of pounds as well so she doesn't look so gaunt. Such a pro, prepared to suffer for her art. Hope all goes well,, so it keeps her off UK TV;
  • Madonna might have had some cosmetic work done - your kidding me;
  • Rihanna wore another dress
  • there is an offer for Eyesential - reader offer only £110, don't fall for it, I've tried it - it is rubbish;
  • Britney spears shocked everyone on the Red Carpet with a dress that isn't very nice;
  • Rihanna wore another dress and has some friends;
  • Rihanna works out - at midnight!;
  • Rihanna wore four more dresses;

These are this weeks highlights and I hope I have helped you stay up with the latest in the Celebrity world. Can't wait for next week, can it be anymore exciting than this week.

Wonder if they will be able to find out what has been happening with Katie .....

Self service

Was in Tesco Metro the other day purchasing a couple of items. Standing at the checkout in a long queue waiting when a very helpful young man suggested I use the self-service tills as I only had a couple of items.

Wasn't keen as I don't like the look of them, they look complicated.

'I'll do it for you' he offered.

OK I thought, go for it. Followed him to the self-service till and he put everything through for me, put my items in a bag and took payment. I couldn't really see the point of 'self-service' though as I didn't do anything.

It was only when I got home I realised I had given him cash and I think he had put my money in his pocket and not in the till. Can you pay cash at these self-service checkouts?

Maybe he didn't work there at all and this was all a scam?

If you see someone arrested for shop lifting two croissants, a pot of apricot jam and a packet of gypsy creams, it was me - but in my defence, I will be the only shop lifter ever to be arrested for paying for the items 'stolen'!

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Brits 2010

I’m not really a one for Awards shows - but if I love the Brits. This is one Awards ceremony I would go to.

Brits 2010 is its 30th anniversary, I remember the first one - seems like only yesterday.

Show starts with Lily Allen and Fear, (at least she didn’t sing ‘that song’ from the album!) I’m not a fan all this public school educated and child of multimillionaires but talking ‘street talk\Urban pop leaves me cold. Still the Fear isn’t a bad pop song. Hoping that tune was her only appearance.

Host Peter Kay always a good show with Peter in charge.

Then Sam Fox back as an all too vivid memory of Brits 1989 - watching that live was an embarrassing laugh from start to finish. But it did see the end of Live Brits for nearly 20 years!

Surprised to see JLS elevated to performing one of their tunes, the Brits usually have proper groups providing the entertainment. Make the most of it - doubt they wil be back next year.

Best British Male Solo Artist - Dizzee Rascal
Controversial - best Dizzee performance Diamonds are Forever with Miss Shirley Bassey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aNoCztU5Kk

International Male Solo Artist - Jay-z King of Hip hop. Doesn’t he go out with Beyonce, or are they married now, or newly divorced, sorry lost track a bit.

Best British Album of last 30 years - What’s the Story Morning Glory - Oasis This should be interesting - since the brothers aren’t speaking. One of the Gallaghers took the award - no idea which one (think it was the good looking one, Liam) but he didn’t disappoint, said nothing that anyone wanted to hear and we are all supposed to think how cool! Sorry was of no interest to me 20 years and they still aren’t.

Kasabian - nice bit of Kasabian while we wait for the next award.

Best British Breakthrough Act - There were Spice Girls all over the place and this one was presented by Geri. Award went to Simon Cowell - sorry JLS. Maybe my earlier comment was a little harsh and they will be around next year … or maybe not! Apparently the Award isn’t for them it is for everyone of us that has supported them - ok so if you want to pop round with the Brit, I’ll have it for a few days next week.

New Artist to make biggest influence in the next year - Ellie Goulding. Never heard of her. She looked very rectangular - maybe it was the top and the skirt and those shoes didn’t help. Just as well she wasn’t up for best influence in the fashion world.

Bit early in the night for Lady Gaga I thought they would have kept her till the end. Acoustic version of tune supposedly as a dedication to Alexander McQueen. Sitting at piano as is her way but giving a ‘Miss Haversham Great Expectations kind of aura.

http://www.victorianweb.org/art/illustration/green/3.jpg

No idea what the tune was - maybe she will get another go later.

Best British Group - Kasabian six years since their debut album so long over due at the Brtits. Could be a stadium visit this year if they get this far up the country.

Best International Breakthrough Act - Lady Gaga She seemed quite touched to win - bless!

Florence (without her machine) and Dizzee gave a little interlude - usually enjoy this spot. Where they put two unlikely acts together to sing a tune - but Dizzee’s rapping just gets on your nerves, ffor goodness sakes sing the tune! And a cover of Candi Statton You Got the Love wasn’t great choice - heard it a million times by dozens of singers. Wasn’t it Pet Shop Boys and Lady Gaga doing this spot last year? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I6lPSke3Og
and watch out for the lovely Brandon Flowers

Pet Shop Boys 2009 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glf0EQEv7O4

International Female Solo Artist - La Gaga again.

Solo British Female - Presented by Dame Shirley Bassey to Lily Allen. Thought she didn’t like the Brits - funny how your view changes when you might win one! A heartfelt roll call of people to thank as she read from her script - thankfully the sound was muted through most of it.

Musical interlude with Jay-z and Alicia Keys having a go at Empire State of Mind - or it would have been if he had shut up and let her get a word in! I know it is his tune - but she sings it better.

International Album - Lady Gaga The Fame - turning into a bit of a rout for La Gaga.

Finally our Cheryl - couldn’t see Ashley in the audience - apparently he got a call and had to send a text. Now that’s just bitchy! New outfit for this performance - seems to have lost the soldiers uniform with the split pants - still miming though. I know the thing these days is to have as many backing dancers on the stage with you - but I think there might have been one or two too many tonight - Cheryl could hardly get moved.

British Single - Simon Cowell again JLS Beat Again. Will someone tell the little one to stop doing back flips - its annoying.

British Album of the Year Florence and the Machine Lungs One of the biggest selling albums of last year - now she has a Brit at least they have stopped giving Annie Lennox awards!


Outstanding Contribution To Music Award - more Brits than any other winner - Mr Robbie Williams. What more can you say

Best British Male
2003 (Winner), 2002 (Winner), 2001 (Winner), 1999 (Winner), 2003 (Nominee), 2002 (Nominee), 2001 (Nominee), 1999 (Nominee), 1998 (Nominee)

Best British Single
2001 (Winner), 2000 (Winner), 1999 (Winner), 2002 (Nominee), 2001 (Nominee), 2000 (Nominee), 1999 (Nominee), 1999 (Nominee), 1998 (Nominee)

Best British Video
2001 (Winner), 2000 (Winner), 1999 (Winner), 2002 (Nominee), 2002 (Nominee), 2001 (Nominee), 2000 (Nominee), 1999 (Nominee), 1999 (Nominee)

British Live Act
2007 (Nominee)

British Male Solo Artist
2006 (Nominee), 2010 (Nominee)

BRITs 25 Best Song Award
2005 (Winner), 2005 (Nominee)

MasterCard British Album
2001 (Nominee), 1999 (Nominee)

Outstanding Contribution Award
2010 (Winner)

The BRITs Hits 30
2010 (Nominee)

£56 million

A good start to the week for a couple winning £56 million on the Lotto.

One worry though, if they put the money in a savings accounts in banks, the Government only guarantees up to £50,000 in each institution if a bank collapses.

As there are 220 instiutions, even if they spread all their money as far as possible that still leaves £45 million uncovered if the worst happens. Where to put it now ... what would you do with it ... it is all a bit of a worry.

And another thing, I noticed the couple haven't quite got round to marriage yet and the cheque handed over was just in his name. If I were her, and I am not suggesting anything, I might be a little worried.

Well that's two things to worry about.

Ashley Cole

I see Ashley Cole has been caught at it again!

I really don’t have time to take on another celebrity couple in meltdown. What with Vernon and John Terry in recent weeks, I am in danger of spreading myself too thin. So come on Ashley sort it out with Cheryl.

Remember Ash you are not the usual Footballer with a Wag – Cheryl has a proper career (I say proper in as much as she is part of a successful girl band and has her own celebrity status on X Factor and elsewhere, as opposed to permatanned shoppers that just have their photos taken in Hello and spend their partners money) so the day might come when you are relying on her to pay for your next car or house.

Sunday, 14 February 2010

Crowded House

Having got the heating sorted out in the office we have a new issue to keep us occupied.

We are on one half of the ground floor in the Leeds office while we await some sort of development work on the other half of the floor - a kitchen would be nice, a restaurant would be fantastic. As it stands I would settle for a hot tap so I don't have to spend my life walking up and down flights of stairs just to get a cup of tea!

Our new issue is over-crowding. Our supplier has shipped in hundreds more colleagues and we have responded by dragging extra desks and chairs from the cellar and doubling up at workstations where we can.

The overall appearance in the office is that off a badly organised chicken factory.

I have been elected chief spokesperson for chicken huts 40 to 47 and had my first meeting with the factory owners this week to present our demands, we want:


  • the blinds to be open for half an hour every day so we get some sunlight;
  • the right to stand up or sit down at any time without having to check with four immediate neighbours first;
  • fresh water to be supplied once a week;
  • an assurance from management that there are no plans to install 'bunk desks' so that they can double the number of occupants in the office;
  • a coat hanger so 12 more people can hang up their coats;
  • management assurance they will look into the specific issues in chicken hut number 45 where chickens are particularly affected by the cramped conditions - we want assurance that the legal minimum of 1500 mm between chicken coops will be implemented;
  • an assurance from management that where some chicken coops have three PCs located the office is not breaching the Kyoto agreement on CO2 emissions;
  • all chickens to have their own chair - and other chickens to keep their flaming hands off.

I am sure I will return to this subject over coming weeks unless conditions improve.


Dancing on Ice - The Skate-off

Why does Philip have to shout the results each week? He has a microphone and we can hear quite clearly - so come on Philip, turn the volume down a bit.

Skate off this week between Danny and Hilary - thank the Lord. Now judges don't spoil it by voting to keep Hilary.

Bit of luck for Danny to be against Hilary, up against anyone else and he might not have made it.

Fancy Dress

Out at the weekend and there was a party people in Fancy Dress in the bar. Got chatting to a couple of 'ladies' with very little on and I thought they had both come as Jordan. I said I thought their outfits were very amusing and I enjoyed the 'Jordan pastiche'. They didn't know what I was talking about and got quite cross!

How was I supposed to know they weren't with the fancy dress party!

Dancing on Ice - Valentine Special

Will this show never end - starting to regret covering it. Still will soldier on, hopefully it will finish before we get to spring!

Valentines special - what is that all about, if you want to buy someone a box of factory chocolates or some flowers from a garage you can do that anytime, you don’t have to wait until ‘corporate Britain’ says you have to. Wonder if I am the only one watching tonight , everyone else out having an early bird special at Pizza Hut?

Battle of the dresses won by Jayne this week - although I think Holly does fill her dress more magnificently than Jayne.

Karen promoted to head judge this week while Robin does the Olympics (commentating) bet Nicky was furious he missed out - but why move seats? You don’t have to sit in the end seat to be head judge do you? Len manages it from the middle seat.

Daniella Westbrook nice start from Daniella and a good score. Not sure what they have done to her hair - it will take weeks to get that back-combing out!

Danny Young Consistent performance from Danny and same score as last three weeks. Little wobble at the end, needs to lift performance if still in it next week. Bit of a dig from Frankie at Jason, don’t think she likes him much - seems to go back to the week he called her a dog!

Emily Atack. Dancing to Whitney classic, Saving all My Love for You and one of my favourite Whitneys - not sure a song about a woman sleeping with another womans husband is a great choice for Valentines night - but there you go! Injury held back the performance this week which was a pity as they are the prettiest couple in the show and nice to see. Low marks but keep them in please. And again what have they done to Emily’s hair? Maybe they have a new hair dryer with a ‘back-combing’ attachment on it?

Mikey Graham surprise visit from Mikey’s wife this week as he said he hadn’t been home since November. If only he was a multi millionaire and Ireland wasn’t so far from London - then they could see each other all the time. Nice performance and reflected in better scores. Noticed Ronan cheering from the audience, but having a quick check to make sure camera was on him before he cheered! Was never a Ronan fan but after the way he handled Stephen’s death I decided he was one of the good guys after all - so stop being mean!

Sharon Davies are they ever going to give this woman a decent outfit to ear - if she wears any less she will have noting on at all. Still think she is a bit stiff and scores going backwards this week.

Hayley Tammenden Absolutely lovely performance and to a beautifully pure Diana Ross vocal. Highest score of the series and well deserved.

Hilary Jones Still can’t bear to watch - wish I had a letter to post. Got extra mark for calling in time - well done! Please stop voting for him.

Kieron Richardson much better this week although not so sure his heart is in it. Probaly miss the skate off this time, but could be out in next week or two. They need to do something with his tops - the sleeves are supposed to fit tight around muscular biceps - his sleeves seem to just hang loose!

Gary Lucy Not sure about the pink outfit - was a bit sickly bit more dancing improvement this week and song choice of My Cherie Amour - not a huge Stevie Wonder fan but the song is so identifiably of its era - great song. I think, along with Danny, he has gone as far performance wise as he is going to go - pity would have liked to see him improve more. Still he got second highest score of the night so should be safe.

Small note - In the competition for tickets for next weeks show (and incidentally the show takes hours to film and it freezing cold, so I don’t think I will bother thanks) Philip referred to the song ‘Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend’ and said it was from the film Moulin rouge - actually it wasn’t it is from the 1949 Broadway musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes sang by Carol Channing (although I guess more famously by Marilyn Monroe in the 1953 film of the same name).

Friday, 12 February 2010

Popstar to Opera Star

Not watched for a week or two so thought would give it a go this week. Two to be eliminated this week for the final next week. I hope Dancing on Ice is watching, where that programme has been on for ever and we seem to have as many people left in it as we started with!

Lawrence Llewellyn fop doesn't look too comfortable sitting next to Meatloaf - what a strange combination!

First up Kim Marsh - beautiful dress and the most glamorous I have seen her look. Song choice Pie Jesu not the best song for Kim, there is nowhere to hide and we heard every flat note. More used to hearing Sarah Brightman sing is and a tough act to follow.

Next door's dog howled all the way through it! Noticed Katherine Jenkins said her performance was the best she had sung it all week - all you can ask I guess but its not the same as saying it was a good performance. Think it's your last week Kim.

Darius next up - nice little aria with lots of words in it. and an acting performance where Darius moved and sang at the same time, not a great baritone fan myself but quite enjoyed it. Darius for the final.

Marcella Detroit - nice performance and she gets to move around the stage this week and act as well as sing. From a distance i kept thinking she was Dot Cotton. Not sure about the frock - it looks like one of Betty Legs Diamonds cast-offs. I am sure I saw her wearing it on the blackpool stage giving her final performance before retiring from obscurity.

Last up - Another Nolan. Lovely aria from the Ball scene of Romeo and Juliet. Think Bernie is a little long in the tooth to be playing Juliet, mind you Orlando isn't much of a catch as Romeo. Great performance and it pains me to say it but she should be in the final. As long as if she wins it doesn't mean even more Nolans will crawl out of retirement and make us watch them sing\dance\live in the jungle or anything else TV can dream up to get us to pay to dial in votes!

I could have done without a 'special' performance of 'Bat out of Hell' from Meatloaf as a 'special treat' Can't bear that tune and I think I have heard it as many times as I need to over the last 30 years. If you think the song hasn't been around that long - it has. Bat out of Hell was released in 1979. Meatloaf has made a career out of that one song ever since - not bad I suppose, but not for me.

Results in and the final for next week is Darius and Bernie - can't wait!

Thursday, 11 February 2010

What Katie Did Next

New series of What Katie Did Next starts on ITV2 tonight - can't wait.

Except it starts from a few months ago so I know What Katie Did Next - it's been in all the papers everyday for months.

Maybe I should write What Katie Will Do Next After She Has Done What She Did Next?

Valentine

I notice Asda are promoting special offfer on Thorntons chocolates for Valentine's Day. At only £3 for a large box.

Again I am no expert, but if all you can manage is £3 for a Valentine's present, I wouldn't bother!

Heat

After weeks of no heating in the Leeds office and the coldest winter since the Middle Ages heat has finally been granted to the office. Let joy be unconfined.

I did wonder what the problem had been and was told, 'There was no heating because there was a lot of sludge in the heating system'.

'Sludge! What exactly is sludge?' I wondered 'How do you know if you have sludge? 'And if you know you have sludge and don't want sludge, why don't you remove it?'

So many questions - thought I had better look up dictionary definition of sludge ....

.... later

I have looked up the dictionary definition of sludge and I will save you the bother. If you have sludge, you don't want it.

What I can't understand is - if we had so much sludge, why did nobody notice and have it removed?

Birthday Cake

I noticed a lot of people walking around the office with slices of cake. I asked someone where they got the cake - turns out it is a work colleague’s birthday today and he had brought in a large chocolate cake. ‘Yeah it’s Corky’s birthday and he has been giving cake to people he likes’

Well that put me in my place. Not one to be put off, I went over to say Happy Birthday.

‘Thank you very much’ he said ‘I have some scraps of cake left if you want some’.

I smiled but demurred at his offer ‘Thanks, very thoughtful but maybe next time.’

Happy Birthday Mr C

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Vernon Kay

Vernon what are you playing at!

I really don't have time to take on another celebrity couple in trouble. I am fully occupied with Katie\Peter\Alex and I have to keep an eye on Brad and Angelina, so I don't really have time to get involved ... ok but just this once.

I think we beleive nothing happened but why put yourself in such a difficult situation - don't you realise you have a £2 million ITV contract to think about - sorry a wife and two children to think about?

Small word of advice - saying that you are pleased it has all come out and how you feel a weight has been removed from your shoulders is a bit daft - you didn't have to wait until it was in all the papers - you could have mentioned it to Tess on a one to one basis!

One good point in Vernon's favour - as he says 'I've been stupid and daft and I'm not a sex pest. I've only done this with four or five girls and I've known them all well - they've been friends or colleagues'.

At least its only four or five (notice he can't quite rememeber how many exactly) and he did know them well as they were friends - well that is so much better!

I'm not moralising - its not my concern, but Vernon we all thought you were one of the good guys! I feel so let down.

Katie Katie Katie

What is going on with Katie? Latest news is that Katie and Alex are trying for a baby!

There are a couple of things, firstly I am no expert, but as Alex is in India and Katie is in England (GMTV studio I think) doesn't that make it a bit difficult? Although having read the article again it says 'she' is trying for a baby not 'we' are trying for a baby. I can see the difference.

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Deirdre Langton

Deirdre from Coronation Street has been wearing a chain belt round her waist every programme for the last 30 years. She is the only woman in the UK that still wears this fashion disaster from the 70s. Where does she find to buy them?

Moving Again

We have had another room move around in the Leeds office. All my friends on the next bank of desks have been banished to the far end of the room. They have been replaced by several hundred new people. I am sure they are very nice but I’m not sure I like the look of them.

There seem to be a lot of old people amongst my new neighbours. I have no idea why they have put them next to me – I am sure we have nothing in common. Also for some reason they all have two PCs and a laptop on each desk! What’s that all about – I think we are breaching the UK’s CO2 emission target for the year just in this room alone.

And another thing, if we cram anymore people into my corner (you will remember I have a very nice corner with two draughty windows over looking the car park and the brewery) we will have to turn the working environment into a sweatshop.

I wouldn’t mind working in a sweatshop if we were producing something useful like trainers or J-cloths that I could find a use for instead of words on a screen.

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Dancing on Ice - The skate-off

Better song from Pixie - Cry Me Out - third single from her debut album.


Who is voting for Hilary -please stop it! In the skate off Heather and Kieron.

Kieron gave the better performance and was saved to fight another day - and the bonus of losing the Mills. Unfortunately if Heather goes, so does Matt.

Icon - Cary Grant

We have had the King of Cool - now the King of Sophistication

Cary Grant - Tribute

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlrQCyHAnsU

Cary Grant by Michael Caine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPvmpS4HOpU

Sing sing sing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCZa9elB9EQ

… and should he have been Bond, James Bond …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvTeq2jUyDs&feature=fvw

Dancing on Ice - 6 February 2010

Pixie Lott opened the show with Jayne and Chris dancing - quite a fan of Pixie’s but not too sure about the new tune, a cover of Kings of Leon Use Somebody. Singing again later

Gary Lucy Much better this week, keep improving and he could win it - but stay off the drag, its not a good look.

Heather Mills Required element this week is a pair’s spin. Part of the move is to spin on one leg- hate to say it but technically Heather has been doing that every week. She looked a bit better this week, (apart from the cat suit, not good) bit less like Shirl off EastEnders, but still not a fan.

Danny Young In the skate off last week so hoping for better performance this week. Lot smoother this week and a good lift - keep going. Not so sure about the ballet outfit made him look a bit like Max Wall!

Emily Atack. Not sure if the judges like Emily. Not sure what she was wearing this week looked a bit like a tea cosy. But good effort hope she gets higher marks this week need to lose rotten Hilary. Prettiest pair in the competition - keep them in.

Mikey Graham Must have lost a bit more weight this week - they have taken him out of jackets and shirt and tie. Think it might be a week or two too soon! He seems to have had a lot of injuries - everything is sore. Makieasauruos! Not a bad routine but he slipped a couple of times.

Sharon Davies They have put her in another swimming costume - can they not find her a skirt to wear! Great song choice - Fast Car, and a good performance. Improving week on week. Her best score of the series.

Kieron Richardson Gets worse scores each - see what he can do this week. Quite good this week, but am I the only one that doesn’t get Paulo Nutini. Slight improvement in the marks this week. Apparently there was a ‘hole in the music’. Does that just mean that the music stopped!

Hayley Tammenden Attempting the head banger this week - rather her than me. They are the best couple but a big fall this week. Looked like it was Dan at fault not Hayley and brave to carry on and do the headbanger. Only worry is Dan’s hair, thought a the start of the completion he was losing his hair - but seems to be accelerating!

Hilary Jones Still can’t bear to watch - time to post a letter. Please stop voting for him.

Daniella Westbrook Quite good - right up to the end - couple of little slips but not bad at all. Her best score to date.

Icon - Steve McQueen

If you do Paul Newman you have to do Steve McQueen

Steve McQueen - Tribute

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jN2EKKW5fA8

Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzajlo4ZJ0I

Bullit car chase

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-7IEPTAoTg

Steve McQueen Great moments

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSQaEvSfTl4

And of course ….

…the Great Escape

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFTVaOTviP4

The Darlettes - Lost

Not really into old tunes but came across this 1961 song from The Darletts and someone has kindly put it on You Tube - have a listen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDa8dr1qd8I

Saturday, 6 February 2010

Question?

Would anyone have so little regard for marriage that they would get married just because their partner had won a TV reality programme and for five minutes they were gettting all the publicity?

Friday, 5 February 2010

Broken Heels

It has been quite a week for shoes in the office this week. We had our own version of Alexandra Burke’s Broken Heels in the office when a colleague caught her high heels in an air vent on the floor.

It would be cruel to make fun of the embarrassment caused by leaving your shoes behind as you walk down the office – but hey you have to get your fun where you can!

Leeds Hotels - The Met

Readers will know that I work on a temporary basis in Leeds. This has given me the opportunity to explore the various hotel accommodation that Leeds has to offer. This week I was unable to book into my hotel and made a return the The Metropole or ‘The Met’ as it is affectionately known, by whom I know not – certainly not by me.

You may have seen my earlier review so I wasn’t hopeful of a pleasant stay, but don’t let it be said that I am not willing to give anyone a second chance. I am ever hopeful of improvement.

My hotel experience during this winter is that none of the hotels in Leeds have any heating. I have needed extra blankets and\or stand alone heaters for weeks now.

I was taking no chances upon my arrival at The Met. As I checked in I asked about room heating, I was confidently told this would not be a problem as there were radiators in all the rooms.

As I was chatting with the lady on reception, I had the distinct feeling I was being watched. I turned around but saw no one, only the impression of a person moving in the shadows behind me.

I shrugged it off, must be getting fanciful in my old age. Then off to my room – which was conveniently situated right next to the lift.

My initial inspection of the room was not favourable – a square dowdy box, with the smallest radiator on the planet underneath a very draughty window.

In theory having a radiator is quite comforting as this gives you control over the heat. Or rather it would do if the radiator in my room had any hot water in it. At full mark 6 the heat was tepid and inconsequential. The hot water only managed to circulate for about two inches around the radiator before giving up in exhaustion. The radiator in the bathroom did not even make pretence of providing heat, merely standing there like a rather badly painted sheet of steel.

I rang reception.

‘It’s about the heating in my room’ I started

‘What about it’

‘I would like some’.

A trifle harsh and sarcastic I admit but I take no prisoners where lack of heating is concerned.

Reception was very helpful and a heater was sent my way immediately.

When it was delivered the lady handed it over and said if it didn’t work just let them know and they would get me another one.

Did that mean another one that didn’t work or one that did work?

Call me picky but wouldn’t it have been easier to check the heater was working before they sent it to my room. Or did they think that if it didn’t work I might not notice and not bother asking for another one.

Still the important thing was – I had a heater. One that had been bought after the Second World War and had been given an occasional wipe with a J-cloth would have been nice, but you take what you can in difficult situations.

The bed was surprisingly comfortable, although I was a bit concerned as the foot of the bed was about four inches higher that the head of the bed, but the duvet was reassuringly thick (unlike the duvet in the Radisson which only had six feathers in it) and I was very tired so all in all a good nights sleep seemed promising.

Next morning – the trickiest part of any hotel stay - Breakfast!

I remembered from my last visit that after you have gone through security they like to herd you in strict order to the table of their choice. It is no use trying to ignore this discipline as if you do manage to get to a table on its own; they just sit the next person in the gap. I never understand why they do this – you end up with a massive restaurant but everyone crowded in one corner. On the other hand the tables are the largest I have seen in any of the hotels I have stayed in and they are spaced relatively far from each other – so I gave way to the inevitable.

My breakfast requirements are quite simple, fruit juice and muesli, on rare occasions a slice of toast.

At the cereal bar I noticed they still don’t provide anywhere to put your cereal bowl as you try to fill it – bit of a balancing act required to manage this bit.

Alpen seems in short supply, it was available on the first morning, but made no subsequent appearance on other days. I had to have something called ‘Corn Flakes’. It had a picture of a Rooster on the front of the box, but as far as I could make out – no chickens are used in the making of the product.

Background music was provided, a little too loud if I am honest – I think it must be ‘Big Band Week’ at the Met as we went from Mr Bojangles through ‘The Summer Wind’ (Interesting fact for any future X Factor contestants, this is Simon Cowell’s favourite song) and onto ‘Come Fly With Me’ via ‘Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets (which to my mind isn’t Big Band written as it was for the Musical Play Damn Yankees), but no matter I can’t bear Big Band at the best of times and a raucous version of these hackneyed ancient tunes at 7 in the morning is not my ideal way to start the day.

Back at my table I again had the distinct impression I was being watched. Turning quickly to my right I saw someone dart behind a palm plant. I stared and slowly a lady emerged ….. Debbie!

How lovely to see Debbie again. If you recall this charming lady was most helpful during my last visit to this hotel.

I was delighted to see her – but funnily enough she didn’t seem so pleased to see me – just my imagination of course.

She came over to my table.

‘Can I get you anything sir’ she said

‘Oh no Debbie, please just call me David – don’t you remember me?’
‘Yes I remember you’ she said ‘Lovely to see you again’ although I have to say she didn’t look as though it was lovely. ‘I think I saw you checking in. Can I get you something else?’

So there had been someone watching me when I arrived. ‘I’m fine thanks, but the butter …’ I left the words hanging in the air as if that was explanation enough

‘What about the butter?’

I indicated the pile of butter pats on the table. Admittedly they were individually wrapped but they were just in a pile on the table anything could happen to them.

‘Do you think I could have a small plate to put them on?’

‘Of course, one plate for your butter coming up’

‘One more thing, could I have some sugar?’

She pointed to the sugar bowl on the table and told me ‘that’s the sugar there’

‘Well yes it is sugar, but at the Radisson, the sugar sachets are little paper pyramids and the granules are quite small and refined. These sugar sachets are tubular and a bit squashed and the granules are a little larger than I am used too. Also they clump’

‘They clump?’

‘Yes, they clump, look’ I indicated the small heap of sugar granules on the table ‘you can see quite clearly that the granules are all stuck together’ so please, if it’s not too much bother ….’ I let my request trail off.

‘Some non clumping sugar granules coming up’ she said. She was about to head off back to the kitchen when I thought I should maybe help and offer some advice.

‘Perhaps you could flatten the sugar with a rolling pin’

Didn’t quite catch what she said, but it was something about knowing what she would like to flatten with a rolling pin.

‘Oh and Debbie’ I called after her ‘the small plate for the butter …’

The rest of my stay was uneventful and I didn’t see Debbie again – perhaps she went onto night shift.

Oysters

Listening to a couple of colleagues this morning and they were discussing a team meal out the previous evening. One colleague said she had had oysters for the first time.

‘Really’ exclaimed my colleague ‘you have never had oysters before, the number of dates you have been on!’

I though that was a little cutting.

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Surfs up


What could be better at this time of year than running onto the beach with your surf board under your arm and diving into the ocean. Well quite a lot really, when the time of the year is February, the beach is Scarborough beach and the ocean is the North Sea.

There are several things wrong with these pictures supplied by my work colleague, where to start … the snow … the beach … the fact that there is more than one car in the car park … the fact that people are planning to go into the water.

Darwin Award

The monthly Darwin Award is given to the person who has demonstrated the greatest proof of the intellectual supremacy of the human species.

This month the award is not for a single person. The award goes to an entire category of people - Centurion Tank man.

January’s winter conditions brought out Centurion Tank man in his droves.

Centurion Tank man is so called because he drives his car covered in six inches of snow. Snow covering all windows and lights with only a two inch wide slit in the windscreen for him to look out of as he steers through snow covered roads.

I am sure you have seen plenty of examples like the one in this picture.

Congratulations Centurion Tank man and thank you for your contribution to the development of the human species!

Shiny shoes

Or should that be one shiny shoe and one not so shiny shoe? Bit of a fashion oversight from colleague this morning. Hate to bring it to everyone’s attention but I only report the news, I don’t make it. Perhaps a new light bulb in the wardrobe might help.

It could have been worse at least they were both black shoes.

But I noticed that later in the day sanity had been restored with two shiny shoes, she must have had another pair in her drawer!

Our Katie

I see our Katie is married again. She has only known him five minutes, but then they are celebrities and the normal laws of time and space don’t apply.

So after all this publicity, press, TV shows, Hello deals and 30 books turns out she never loved Peter Andre in the first place and he never loved her anyway.

So why have we had to put up with all this coverage about how wonderful their lives were and how marvellous it was to be in love with each other for the last six years - or sixty years as it is in ‘Celebrity years’.

To save you tuning in to the Katie Reid (she has changed her name – again) show for the foreseeable future the time line is something like this:

Next month – Hello exclusive pictures of the wedding in Las Vegas

Six months from now – my turmoil when I realised we couldn’t have children (half million from Hello for sad pictures at home)

One year from now – our joy now that we finally have the child we longed for – (million pound picture deal from Hello)

14 months from now - The strain on our marriage as Alex can’t cope with my fame (another half million from Hello)

18 months from now – why I had to leave Alex (new book that reveals all about her marriage)

20 months from now – I am determined to see my child (this one from Alex, quarter of a million from OK)

Two years from now – now I am ready to love again (new book and a deal with OK (Hello wouldn’t pay a million).

So with a good wind we should get through the whole relationship with Alex in two years.

A Friend of John Terry

Lizzie Cundy a friend of John Terry was on GMTV this morning giving us an insight into the lives of John and his wife. I have never heard of her but she is apparently a ‘Wag’. Must have been a while ago by the looks of her, I assume she was a ‘Wag’ before the term was invented.

When asked the question, she said she didn’t know what was going on between John and his wife and just thought it best if everyone left them alone to sort it out.

A useful insight from a friend!

Here’s a bit of advice for you Lizzie, start being a friend and get off national TV stirring up the story at any opportunity. Or stop calling yourself a ‘friend’. Better still get off the TV and stop calling yourself a friend.

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

This Seasons Big Question

I like to make the occasional foray into the world of fashion, I am no expert but I like to give help and encouragement where I can.

Interesting article in today’s G2 with the answer to the question we all are asking this season

How to wear Clogs

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/feb/02/how-wear-clogs-chanel